In which I am publicly chastised by a hyper-articulate 2-year-old

Ciara, at the library check-out counter after we visited the bathroom:

[Angrily, loudly] "JoJo, you didn't pull up my underwear properly! Fix them now please!"

And I did. She's scary sometimes.

Everything I know is a lie.

I thought there was a new episode of Lost on tonight. But I was wrong. I was terribly wrong, and tragic it is. I turn to you, bottle of Firestone beer. Massage my wounded heart, sweet liquid lover.

Break a Leg, Chemist.

The Disgruntled Chemist will defend his thesis this morning before a panel of what I can only assume are rather intimidating scientists. Of course, we can rest assured he will be awesome. In lieu of my witnessing this (I have to work this morning, boo), I will wish him smart thoughts and confidence. Go forth and scientificate, dude!

She makes this way too easy.

Ciara: [rearranges slices of watermelon and banana on her plate, stacks them, knocks them down.]
Me: If you're just going to play with those, I'm going to eat them. [spears a piece of watermelon, eats it.]
Ciara: Nooo! They are mine, JoJo! [begins shoving them into mouth.]

A-B-C-D, let me tell you a story about me.

It's about bras. Okay, so I hardly ever buy new bras because it's boring and annoying and they're expensive and I hate them. But I keep hearing, from all those makeover shows I totally don't watch, that some crazy percentage of women are wearing the wrong size bra, and how this is bad for various reasons such as back pain and lumpy breast appearance. And at first I was like, those silly bitches who can't find things that fit; certainly I am not one of them! And then I was like, come to think of it, I'm not feeling so secure in this thing, and there's some boob peeking out of the side of the cup right here, yes that is definitely boob leakage-peekage. And why does this strap keep riding up my back and damn you Clinton and Stacey, how always right you are. And finally it was time to give in, and yesterday, in an unprecedented paroxysm of inspiration, I went to a department store and asked a very nice salesperson to please measure my chest.

She measured my chest. And then she told me something I found quite interesting: I had been wearing a 38C, but I'm actually a 36DD. A double D?! (I said). That sounds all big and stuff, and can't be correct. But it was, she replied, and at that point I had no other recourse but to buy new bras. Cute and fun ones, of course, except for one Necessary Functional Garment which is flesh-colored and generally boring and useful and needn't be further discussed. But how snugly the girls rest inside their new home! What feelings of security have resulted! I feel positively...buoyant. My stamp of recommendation rests upon this experience.

(Also posted, with firm and supple comment thread, at Shakesville.)

Go California!

The California Supreme Court yesterday overturned a ban on same-sex marriages, ruling it unconstitutional. Today the litigious homophobes and religious paranoids will be out in droves to squash this small step towards increased civil rights for all Californians. May they be roundly denied!

Chinese Government to World: Hey, at least we're not Myanmar!

The New York Times reports that the Chinese government's response to Monday's earthquake, a combination of relief efforts and unusual ease of information access via television and Internet, is earning it positive reviews from the international community.

Dali Yang, the director of the East Asian Institute in Singapore, said the government might have come to the realization that openness and accountability could bolster its legitimacy and counter growing anger over corruption, rising inflation and the disparity between the urban rich and the rural poor.
...The Xinhua News Agency, the government’s leading propaganda organ, has offered an unusually vigorous stream of updates about casualties and problems confronting rescue teams. Internet sites have been filled with cellphone videos of the quake and commentary, most of it laudatory, but some of it criticizing the military’s response.

Well, that's good to hear. But let's not hold out hope for uncensored Google searches anytime soon.

Refund/Stimulus

If you've received either and can spare a few dollars this month, there are a lot of people in need of some help right now. Please consider donating. I did it, and it's fun wheeeee! If you give, please let me know in the comments!

-Doctors Without Borders, for China and Myanmar.
-The Red Cross for the same, plus their work in tornado-affected areas of the U.S.

So it's going to be one of those days, is it?

Me: Let's get dressed so we can go to the park.
Child: No! No! No! I don't wanna get dreeeeeeeeeeessed noooooooo!
Me: Okay. We can stay inside all day. But if you want to go out and have fun, just let me know when you're ready.
Child: Noooooo JoJo I wanna have fuuuuuuuuuun and go ouuuuut nooooooooooo please may I get dreeeeessed?!
Me: Le sigh.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom

It has occurred to me, since I have become an adult, that when I remember my childhood, when I gather up and compile all the memories from my earliest memory, that there is an overarching impression of love, comfort, and stability, that even as things changed, I had a reassurance of constancy. I know that this is unusual, and how extremely lucky I am to have it. There aren't enough ways to thank you for your kindness, mom. I love you.